Deep in the Act - Chapter 18

[Chapter 18]

Fang Chi kept looking at his watch, getting closer to Micro Motion’s appointment time, he was not ready at all, his left hand was a thick pile of case reports on male sexual assault, and his right hand was clinical data on women suffering from PTSD after experiencing sexual violence. As he expected, no one in China has ever integrated these two fields, and what he faced was a whole academic blank.

Rape… He never associated this word with Micro Motion. He has been in contact with raped female patients and knows the connotation of this word too well. It not only represents coercion, humiliation and loss of virginity, but also represents physical violence , genital damage and infectious diseases, and of course discrimination from the external environment, and finally psychological trauma.

Micro Motion was raped.

This sentence has a special power for him, making him feel that his heart and lungs are hypoxic, his mind is paralyzed, and even his hands are cold. That beautiful Micro Motion, that proud Micro Motion, was brutally used by men… He imagined Not coming out, pounding his fist heavily on the desk, now he understands those trembling, those tears, those hesitating to speak, Micro Motion said that he was afraid of being looked down upon by him.

Fang Chi tore off his tie, went to the bathroom to wash his face, Secretary Li knocked on the door, it was Micro Motion, he said to himself, treat him normally, don’t show pity or care too much.

The door opened, and Micro Motion stood there in a well-regulated manner, still elegant and decent, just lowered its head, greeted politely, and did not smile cordially.

Fang Chi went to pull his hand, but he dodged it bluntly. Fang Chi could see that he was trembling: “Mr. Gao, shall we sit down first?

Micro Motion’s back is pressed against the door panel. This kind of escape The inescapable defensive state made Fang Chi’s heart ache: “You said it, I admire your courage.” He firmly approached him, ignoring his silent resistance, and firmly grabbed his hand: “I can Help you,” those hands were as cold as ice and as soft as snow: “as long as you are willing to give yourself to me.

Micro Motion

couldn’t refuse his temptation: “What else do I need?”

He murmured; “I told you all, I took myself out to show you!”

”

There are grievances, complaints, and a strong desire for redemption in his words. As long as there are these, Fang Chi knows that he will be obedient: “It’s not enough, I want you to tell me the whole story, every detail, every detail. feeling.

”

Gao Zhun looked at him with horror in his eyes, biting his lips tightly.

“What kind of person is he?”

Micro Motion trembled violently, Fang Chi refused to give in: “How old is he? Tall or short? Is he Chinese?”

Micro Motion still did not soften, Fang Chi continued to ask: ” Is it someone you know? How many times in total?”

Gao Zhun finally couldn’t take it anymore, and shouted in a broken voice: “I don’t know, only once!”

“Is he holding a knife?” Fang Chi was very calm.

“No…” Fang Chi’s calmness made Gao Zhun quiet down, like a child complaining to the teacher, looking pitiful: “But he hit me.”

Fang Chi tightened his grip on his hand: “Let’s sit down, Can you speak slowly?”

“Okay…” Micro Motion fully cooperated, like every time before, sitting in his chair, watching Fang Chi sitting diagonally opposite, holding a pen and paper, with a very serious expression. Look dependable.

“Let’s start,” Fang Chi said, “start from the beginning, don’t worry, stop when you’re sad, but don’t hide it.”

Gao Zhun didn’t dare to look at him, and stared at his toes: “That day…it was Friday, Lin Lin Birthday, at 11:40pm, I remember very clearly, the company called and a batch of Nepalese small Buddha statues arrived, I went downstairs to the garage…” Speaking of the garage, he choked for a moment: “I have a Cayenne, Blue…”

The mystery of the car was revealed, the incident happened in the underground parking lot, and it was probably in the car, Fang Chi quickly recorded.

“As soon as I opened the car door, someone pinched my neck from behind and pushed me into the car,” Micro Motion tightened his collar, and lightly knocked his upper and lower teeth together: “He was wearing a baseball cap and a sweater, twenty-seven Eight years old, I thought it was a robbery, so I gave him my wallet, but he didn’t want to…” He began to tremble: “He was very strong, he grabbed me firmly, punched my temple, and then…”

Fang Chi felt that his heart was about to stop beating, his palms were sweating coldly, and there was a kind of tension that pierced his back.

“Then he put the seat down…” Micro Motion shed tears as he said.

Fang Chi gave him a tissue, and he held it in his hand, but didn’t wipe it off: “He pressed on me and untied my belt…I didn’t know what he was going to do at that time,” his tears could not be stopped at all, along the way With a chin, he slid into his collar one by one: “He even took pictures…” Fang

Chi

was very sensitive: “… the body?”

Micro Motion shook his head: “Only the face, and took a lot of pictures.”

People may feel disgusted by what they do with these photos: “When did you know that he was going to… rape you?”

Micro Motion’s voice was almost inaudible: “When he touched me.”

“Where did he touch?”

“The lower body…” The voice was so soft that Fang Chi had to pull the chair closer to him: “Referring to the genitals?”

This word made Gao Zhun tremble: “There are also thighs, and he is against me, and the crotch is very hard,” he said. Excited: “I started to struggle, but the more I struggled, the more excited he became!”

“Did he say something?”

“He said…” Micro Motion opened his mouth several times before saying, “I can’t say it. ”

“An insulting word?”

Micro Motion nodded: “I feel like I’ve become a woman, I even hate myself, why don’t I have the strength to resist him!”

“And then?” Fang Chi wrote a full page: ” What did he do again?”

Gao Zhun finally looked up at him, with trembling cheeks and red and swollen eyelids, as if complaining that he knew everything clearly, but insisted on forcing him: “He pulled my shirt, licked my face, Then he hit me again…” The

atmosphere was tense, like a compressed can that was screwed to the limit, just waiting for the moment to burst – Fang Chi knew that the most difficult part was about to be said, Micro Motion covered it with a pale palm face, said very weakly: “He probably spit, then…then…” Fang Chi watched the tears flow from under those thin hands: “He came in.”

Fang Chi looked calm, but he couldn’t hold the pen with his sweaty hands, and wrote the word “come” for “come in” several times.

“It hurts, it hurts so hot, I thought I was going to die…” Micro Motion was so painful that his back was bent into a ball, and he curled up on the chair: “He kept asking me if I was happy, then twisted my chest and kissed my mouth.”

Fang Chi felt that he didn’t look like a doctor at all. He pinched his pen holder irritably and was brought into his situation by Micro Motion, which empathized with the patient: “Why didn’t you call for help?”

“I dare not shout, compared to him What I did to me, I was even more afraid of being seen riding on me…”

“So you chose to be patient?” Fang Chi rarely showed anger during the treatment: “Let him ride on you…” He stiffened He stopped, adjusted his mood, and wisely changed another question: “At that time, were you facing each other?”

Gao Zhun couldn’t believe that he actually asked such a question: “Are you really trying to help me?” He felt a sense of humiliation from the bottom of his heart, a sense of unwillingness to encounter bad luck: “Or are you curious about how I was raped by a man?”

“I just want to know the details of the traumatic situation.”

“Okay!” Micro Motion’s voice was high Get up, can’t control my emotions: “The me on his front, I opened my legs like a woman, he put one of my legs on his shoulders, kissed and fucked me, the string of hickeys disappeared after more than half a month Are you satisfied!”

“I’m not satisfied!” Fang Chi dropped his pen, and the recording paper slipped from his knees and scattered all over the floor: “I also want to know if you felt pleasure when you were raped, did you moan, did you No orgasm!”

Gao Zhun stood up from the chair and looked at him in shock: “How do you know…” He covered his mouth, obviously panicked: “I don’t want to be like that, I…”

Fang Chi then stood up , hated his recklessness: “I’m sorry, I’m in a hurry, let’s go wash our face first, okay?”

He supported Micro Motion’s shoulder, Micro Motion was pushed by him in a daze, walked a few steps, and suddenly turned around body, threw herself into his arms like a bird with a feather, and begged desperately: “Don’t look down on me, please, please…”

Fang Chi hugged him like a bouquet of Dailu’s flowers, Micro Motion’s forehead was pressed against his cheek, he turned his head and kissed him inadvertently, he didn’t know why he did that, it was so logical, So naturally, then he rubbed the man into his arms, outlining his figure with his tightly locked chest: “I won’t let you go.”

Fang Chi accompanied Gao Zhun to the bathroom, seeing him crying while washing his face, there seemed to be something in his heart Gouging out the knife, he tore off the towel from the shelf, and gently wiped his face over Micro Motion’s arm: “Can we continue?”

Micro Motion nodded, frowned at him with a slender brow, and hid in his bed again. Embrace: “At first it really hurt, he was very strong, every hit felt like hitting my heart, but slowly…” His voice was muffled: “I feel… the inside of the butt is very comfortable, really comfortable It’s completely different from being with a woman, I must be crazy!”

Fang Chi hugged him hesitantly, he thought it would be better to go back to the chair to talk about it, but after thinking about it, he didn’t want to interrupt: “Describe Find out how you feel.”

“I can hear myself humming…” Micro Motion pressed against him, wrapping his hands around his back: “I’m like a woman in that kind of movie… I seem to be hugging him, But I can’t hold it back!”

Fang Chi felt the place on his chest was hot, as if he was not wearing any clothes, and every subtle movement of the two of them was vivid: “How long has he been violating you?”

“I don’t know,” Gao said. Zhun folded his head on his shoulder: “I seemed to have turned into an animal.”

Fang Chi lifted his chin and forced him to look up: “What happened in the end?”

Micro Zhun avoided his gaze: “He shot on me. Inside…”

“What about you?” They were too close, exchanging hot breaths.

“I… shot myself, am I mean?” He asked in panic.

Fang Chi stared at his crying red lips, and did not speak for a long time. Micro Motion waited for his sentence in fear, but he deliberately delayed: “Did you shoot it yourself?”

Micro Motion’s cheekbones on both sides were red: “He helped Mine…with hands.”

He used the word “help”, a simple word, Fang Chi felt stung: “There are many records of men experiencing sexual assault to obtain pleasure, erection or orgasm, the first is the physiological structure, and the second is that the perpetrator often intentionally stimulates the victim Or, to achieve the purpose of sexual conquest, by identifying the victim as enjoying the sexual process, they can escape punishment.”

He explained dryly, but Micro Motion seemed to be grasping at straws: “Really, so I might not be gay?”

“Have you ever doubted your sexual orientation?”

Gao Zhun panicked for a moment and licked his lips in embarrassment, but Fang Chi’s blood surged up, and he rubbed his chin with his thumb guiltily: “After it’s over, How did you do it?”

“I went to the hotel and got a room…the back was broken and the blood kept flowing, and I couldn’t go to the toilet for several days.” Thinking of the experience at that time, Micro Motion was still trembling: “I dare not talk to anyone People say that no one will sympathize with me, and my mother will only scold me for not being a man when she finds out, Lin Lin… Which woman is willing to live with a man who has been raped?”

Fang Chi leaned against the wall of the bathroom, making him even more sympathetic.

Leaning on her firmly, her hands were loosely wrapped around his waist, and a little further down was his bullied butt.

“I had a fever the next day, but I didn’t dare to go to the hospital. Whether I was sleeping or waking up, those images would suddenly appear. Every time I thought about it, I felt like I was raped again…I didn’t dare to turn on the TV because I was afraid to hear When I hear any sex-related news, I always take a fruit knife and stab at him in my dream!”

“Shh—” Fang Chi coaxed him like a child: “After the injury is healed, are you How do you get rid of this pain?”

Micro Motion smiled wryly: “The pain will always be there.” He pinched Fang Chi’s collar and rolled his fingers nervously: “In order to avoid going to the toilet, I don’t eat very much. I have to wash it every few tens of minutes… I feel dirty when I wash it there, I always feel that he is still there, coming in and out blatantly… I started drinking, and I can forget it for a while when I am drunk…”

Fang Chi combed it with his fingers .

His hair: “How long have these symptoms lasted?”

Micro Motion smiled, because of the special experience of sexual assault, this smile looked very beautiful: “Before I met you…” He had eyes full of sparkles, raised his head slightly, and looked like he was waiting for someone to kiss: “I have always been This way.”

Before I met you, I was always like this.

A ball of fire exploded in Fang Chi’s chest, and something hummed sharply in his ears, as if he was restless in the room when he was seventeen or eighteen years old. He could kiss Micro Motion’s salty lips as soon as he lowered his head, but Contained.