Deep in the Act - Chapter 22

[Chapter 22]

Fang Chi and Micro Motion discussed whether to go to the community hospital or the CDC. Micro Motion was afraid of meeting acquaintances, so they missed the morning rush hour, and they made an appointment to meet at the subway station.

At 9:30, there were still many people on the subway, Fang Chi kept paying attention to keeping Gao Zhun in front of him, and gently hugged him from behind, and hugged him slightly if it was too crowded.

The carriage was shaking, and through the thin shirt, the skin was slightly hot, but Micro Motion was inadvertently twitching, and the words “AIDS” were all messed up in his mind. He didn’t sleep at all last night. Compared with sexual violence, this is Real fear, discrimination, illness, death, and promotional pictures that I accidentally saw somewhere are constantly flashing in front of my eyes. It is a living nightmare.

“Don’t be afraid.” As if realizing his panic, Fang Chi lowered his head, and the hot air blew into his ears: “I’ll be with you.”

Micro Motion was so heartbroken that he was about to cry, he let himself lean against his chest .

The subway stopped at a big station, there were many people going down, Fang Chi pushed him to sit on the vacant seat, such a spacious chair, it seemed strange that they were close to each other.

The air conditioner was not cold, but Micro Motion was trembling, and said weakly: “If you get hit…” He turned his head to look at Fang Chi, with a demeanor of dripping water: “Leave me alone, let me die.”

Fang Chi

Chi can’t bear this kind of words, grabs the stiff hand on his knee, holds it with ten fingers, and rubs back and forth between fingers.

Immediately someone looked over, and even whispered, Micro Motion pulled his hand slightly, but Fang Chi didn’t let go: “Whatever they think, all I care about is your feelings.”

He just held it so tightly that he was drenched in sweat. Wet his cuffs, Fang Chi almost picked him up when he arrived at the station, the CDC is a few hundred meters outside the subway entrance, a small yard, three floors, and all kinds of people coming in and out.

The AIDS test is on the second floor, which is a large room, and the door is always closed from the inside. Fang Chi supported Micro Motion’s shoulders, watched him take two deep breaths, then opened the door for him, and went in with him.

In the white room, there are yellow plastic chairs around the wall, half-occupied, most of them are young men. In just a short moment, many pairs of eyes cast their eyes on them. vicious.

Gao Zhun was so scared that his vision was blurred, Fang Chi supported his waist from the side, and found an empty chair for him to sit down: “I’ll go to the doctor, wait for me.”

Gao Zhun grabbed his sleeve and didn’t let go

, Fang Chi coaxed patiently: “It’s okay, I’ll be right back.”

When Micro Motion took off his sleeve, Micro Motion felt as if the whole world had collapsed. It was a tall young man in a bright sweatshirt, who peeped at him frequently with a complicated expression.

As he promised, Fang Chi came back soon, holding something in his hand. There were so many people in the room, he ran straight to Micro Motion, and knelt down in front of him without saying a word: “Give me your hand.” I

don’t know Why, the eyes of the whole room came together, with some kind of surprised envy, Fang Chi took out a wet tissue from his pocket, wiped it carefully on Micro Motion’s index finger, then tore open the wrapping paper in his hand, and took out a paper towel. A strip of paper and a tube of sterile needles.

Gao Zhun was watching in a daze, but when Fang Chi was about to prick his hand with the needle point, he suddenly retracted his hand and grabbed the needle: “No, I will do it myself.”

Fang Chi didn’t take it seriously, and dodged His hand: “Just one touch, it won’t hurt.”

But Gao Zhun insisted, and put his fingers back, Fang Chi realized that he was cautious, afraid of the risk of infecting him.

His heart softened, but his face was stern: “Give me your hand.”

Facing him, Micro Motion didn’t know how to refuse, stretched his fingers, and the needle came down in the blink of an eye. Drops of blood dripped into the sample loading area, and then the buffer solution was injected, the needle was put away, and he sat down next to him holding the test paper.

At this moment, Micro Motion was content, even if he was told that the result was positive, he would admit it: “How long will it take?”

“Half an hour,” Fang Chi was afraid that he would be in a hurry, and added: “It will be over in a while.”

“Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye my hopeless dream…” The phone rang, Fang Chi pressed it at a glance, then it rang again, he pressed it a second time, and when it rang again for the third time, he gave the test strip to Gao Zhun, picked up the phone helplessly: “Hi, Miss Bai.”

He looked at Micro Motion worriedly, and pushed the door to go out. Micro Motion chased him with his eyes like a ship chasing the stars, until the young man next to him was indifferent. Said lightly: “Your boyfriend treats you well.”

Gao Zhun didn’t understand what he meant, and looked at him suspiciously. The boy glanced at him from top to bottom, with a hint of teasing: “It’s not your boyfriend.” Are you a

friend?” A

lot of people nearby cast good-looking looks, Gao Zhun was a little dazed, and passed him, and for the first time, he brought the people around him into view, they were all young and fashionable boys, with well-groomed facial features, clothes and pants Meticulous, with a kind of cheap beauty, he is no stranger to this kind of people, he has come into contact with a lot in the industry, he is just a little disgusted, disgusted that they think Fang Chi like that.

“No, it’s my doctor.” He put on a haughty, condescending demeanor.

Immediately someone answered his words: “It must be the kind of doctor who gives injections at night!”

They all laughed, and Micro Motion frowned in disgust, looking away unreasonably, just in time Fang Chi came back, and walked quickly Sitting next to him: “How is it?” He observed his expression carefully: “Are you scared?”

Gao Zhun was about to answer, and the boy came over familiarly, his bright eyes looked youthful: “Are you a doctor?”

Fang Chi took a look at Gao Zhun: “Yes, a psychiatrist.” The

boy said “Oh” exaggeratedly, and then asked half shyly in what he thought was the most handsome posture: “I have psychological problems… I can call you.” ?”

Micro Motion felt that his scalp was numb, but at this time the phone rang, and he saw that it was the board of directors calling: “Hello?” This number is decided by me.” He looked at Fang Chi and the boy frequently, they were talking happily, shoulders touching shoulders.

“I often have nightmares and insomnia at night,” the boy said, “I’m very distressed and don’t know what to do.”

“You can come here for a consultation.” Fang Chi was very gentle, professionally gentle: “No Fee.”

“Then…” The boy looked at him with some kind of sweet eyes: “Can you give me a business card?”

Still struggling with the prices of several Qing Dynasty textiles on the phone, Gao Zhun saw Fang Chi take out the The business card holder opened with a “click” with his long fingers. He skillfully pulled out a piece of snow-white paper—he had also pulled it out for himself, and Micro Motion felt it was difficult to breathe. The same voice, the same gesture, Fang Chi said to him, “Mr. Gao, nice to meet you.” The

boy took the business card away, and when he put it in his pocket, he did not forget to glance at Micro Motion, then shook his test strip, and said briskly, “Oh, It’s negative.”

He said goodbye to Fang Chi graciously, and when he went out, he threw the test paper into the trash can in the corner.

The phone was disconnected early, Gao Zhun didn’t even know what he said, he couldn’t tell what was wrong, and no matter what Fang Chi said to him, he ignored him.

“What’s wrong with you?” Fang Chi wanted to pull his hand, but he dodged nervously, and Fang Chi wanted to read his test paper again, but he refused to let him, and moved to the side to sit across from Fang Chi.

The onlookers giggled, and you talked to each other: “…I’m awkward…I’m jealous…”

Fang Chi heard it, and there was an inexplicable anger: “Mr. Gao… Micro Motion,” he was beaten Sitting over: “Look at me.”

Gao Zhun didn’t turn his head, Fang Chi pulled his arm: “Are you afraid that they think we are…that kind of relationship?”

Of course not, Micro Motion denied it in his heart, but he refused to say a word, Fang Chi almost hugged him: “What did they say?” He lowered his voice: “Look at them, they are all alone , Those bed partners and so-called boyfriends, no one comes with them, but you have me, so they are jealous.”

Gao Zhun finally turned his head to look at him, then what are we?

He wanted to ask, but he couldn’t ask, Fang Chi thought that he had softened, so he took the test strip from him, there was only a red line on it, which was in the quality control area.

“Negative,” he breathed a long sigh of relief, the kind of relief made people feel that he was just like the subject: “You are safe,” he looked at Micro Motion affectionately, and repeated: “You It’s safe.”

Gao Zhun didn’t know what expression to use to face him, he cherished his love so much, but hated his exquisite appearance, he suddenly realized that he wanted this man, wanted him to belong to him completely, to belong to himself alone .

Seeing Gao Zhun leave in front of him, Fang Chi silently walked to the door and went out alone. He was stunned for a while before he finally realized to catch up. He called his name while chasing, but Micro Motion didn’t respond, and squeezed his head into the crowd at the subway entrance.

Fang Chi followed him, puzzled by his alienation, he stood on the same platform and boarded the same carriage as him, even though he was shivering with fear, Micro Motion refused to accept his touch.

There were more and more people, and Micro Motion was pushed farther and farther away until it was submerged. Fang Chi couldn’t bear the thought of him holding on to his patience. He is a man who obeys the rules, but he can’t control so much at this time. Relying on his height, he pushed his way out of the densely packed crowd, and came to Micro Motion amidst high and low complaints.

Gao Zhun raised his red eyes and looked at him timidly. He needed Fang Chi, but he didn’t dare to say it. Fang Chi sighed helplessly and hugged him.

This was a short-lived intimacy. From the time they got off the subway to sending Micro Motion to the gate of his home park, the two of them didn’t say a word. Before parting, Fang Chi asked anxiously, “I’ll take you there?”

Micro Motion just shook his head, Then he walked home alone, and as he walked, he felt his nose sour, as if tears were falling, and he wanted to turn around and tell Fang Chi, send me up, don’t go.

But the words stuck in his throat, making him ache.

Pushing open the door of the apartment building, he wiped away his tears, just in time to see the metal letter box on the wall, the letter was full, and it was about to fall out of the letter receiving port.

Taking the elevator upstairs, he held the letter in one hand and opened the door with the other. When he got home, he casually looked through, most of which were Lin Lin’s credit card repayment slips, a few copies of his monthly newspapers and documents, and a small letter without stamps or postmarks.

He tore it open in doubt, and to his surprise, the letter was handwritten. The handwriting was not beautiful, but there was a kind of sincerity in it. The headline was “Mr. Gao”: “Writing letters to patients is a part of narrative therapy. I usually recount the treatment process in the clinic when writing to others, but this time I am writing to you, I think it is a little different, Mr. Gao, do you want to know what you look like in my heart? I

remember that night, I went to your house Looking for you, you waited for me alone in the dark; I remember those physical contact exercises, you were very scared, but you didn’t run away; I remembered the fireworks and fountains that night, you boldly told me your story-the most impressive thing about you is The courage to die.

And beauty. It may not be appropriate to describe a man as ‘beautiful’, but you are indeed beautiful, just like a beautiful flower that someone breaks. Beauty has caused you to encounter some bad things, but you should know, Beauty is not your fault. The last thing I want to see is that you torture yourself for the sins of others. I am most afraid of hearing the word ‘death’ from your mouth.

After that is your talent. Saw it in your living room It’s unbelievable that those paintings come from your pen. You are so thin and slender, but you have a unique style and an intriguing heart. I don’t think you know. In my eyes, you are a rare treasure. I hope to see You are always eye-catching and shining forever.

Finally, thank you for your trust and cooperation all the time. No matter how “excessive” demands I make, you will always wrong yourself to satisfy me. I feel more than once that getting to know you is one of the greatest gains in my life One, thank you, Micro Motion.”

Signed: Fang Chi.

Date: The seventh day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar.

Tears flowed down the sides of the nose bone, and the hand holding the letter was shaking non-stop. This was written by Fang Chi for him that day, the day he told the truth. Micro Motion couldn’t explain this feeling, both joy and fear , both sweet and painful, wanting to jump into the fire, but also afraid that the result will be humble wishful thinking.

He blamed himself for only seeing the letter, and for the tantrum he played in the CDC just now. He took out his cell phone from his suit pocket, and dialed the number tremblingly. After one ring, the call was connected: ” Mr. Gao?”

Hearing Fang Chi’s voice, tears fell again: “Is there any patient?”

“No, the appointment in the morning has been turned down.”

Both sides fell into silence, and after a long time, Gao Zhun murmured: “Letter… I received it.”

Fang Chi didn’t speak, not even a word “oh”, quietly, just waiting for him to say, this is a game, the loser must be the one who is tempted first: “I’m sorry… Gao Zhun said in a low voice: “I shouldn’t be awkward in the morning.”

Fang Chi was very satisfied, and asked gently: “Why the awkwardness?”

Even across the phone, Gao Zhun felt embarrassed: “You really don’t know?”

Fang Chi said Gao Zhun wanted to hate him, but couldn’t: “I

‘m

just…” With a kind of self-sacrificing mentality, he said, “I can’t stand you giving that boy a slap in the face.” Business card, I can’t stand you being as good to others as you are to me, I…” Suddenly, he found a word: “I would… be jealous!”