Deluge - Chapter 49

[Chapter 49]

During the stalemate period, when drowning in the swamp of pain and struggle, we often feel that the two of us can’t get better, but we can’t imagine what it would be like to be separated.

Then drag it. It is the easiest to drag. There is no need to go forward or backward.

But saying the word “break up” is far easier than imagined, just like the relationship between people, I don’t know why, I suddenly met him, suddenly I couldn’t control myself, I fell in love with someone I didn’t understand enough Man, suddenly wanted to be with him forever, and even thought about how to live the rest of his life.

Then, all of a sudden, everything collapsed. It turned out that the love that was so sweet that it could kill was a mirage. It came and went suddenly. When I looked back, I found that I was in a quagmire. At this time, I hoped that the other party could pull me ashore. , “Save me”, and hope he will let go quickly, “Let me die”.

In the end, this slow and murderous love was resolved by “breaking up”, and it was light and not as difficult as imagined.

The earth didn’t stop.

Nobody died.

“Break up” is the same as “Hello”, “The weather is nice”, and “I like you very much”. They are just ordinary Chinese characters. With a touch of their tongues, they are cut off without any effort.

Xu Juan was “sent” out by Pei Yu.

This time, he really couldn’t keep it. All his things, Pei Yu personally counted them, and moved them out the door one by one.

In the middle of the night, there was a lot of noise. Some neighbors were disturbed. They pushed open the door and took a look. When they saw that it was a scene of separation, the faces of the parties became more ugly, so they retreated and closed the door. .

This is late autumn.

Xu Juan and Pei Yu stood one in the corridor and the other in the door, seeing each other for the last time.

A month later, Xu Juan heard that Pei Yu had fallen seriously ill after they broke up and was bedridden for many days. For this reason, his mother made a special trip from his hometown to take care of him for a while.

This news came from Tang Sisi. At that time, Xu Juan was stuck on the road during the evening rush hour, and the vehicles in front were motionless. He fiddled with his mobile phone impatiently. When he saw the news of Tang Sisi, he was stunned for a moment, and then fell into silence.

This month, Xu Juan rented a suite in a community near the company, living alone, and life became very quiet.

In fact, quietness is also a rare thing. Xu Juan could not understand it before. His life in the past two decades was too lively. He was accompanied when he was happy, coaxed when he was sad, and someone always put him on the top of his heart. The most important thing is that he is afraid that he will have a bad life.

But he felt that he was particularly lacking in love and had nothing.

Now he really doesn’t love him anymore, but he doesn’t feel it anymore.

Speaking of pain, maybe a little bit, but it’s okay, it won’t die.

Love is not everything in life.

What does “all” include?

Xu Juan thought about it, he might have answered this question before: “Love, career, family, mainly to realize self-worth.”

Now he wants to say: “Eat, sleep, go to work, do something happy, don’t think about life. What is it?”

He stared at WeChat, and Tang Sisi slapped sideways: “Mr. Pei’s illness, I don’t know what’s going on, there are crazy rumors in the school, saying that he may have an accident at home, or because of other private matters, he was mentally traumatized. I’m going to fall ill, have you heard, President Xu?”

“…”

Tang Sisi knew about their previous relationship, obviously she couldn’t help but be curious, so Xu Juan didn’t want to say more, and replied perfunctorily, “I don’t know. “.

Tang Sisi added: “It’s okay to be ill. It is said that it is not a serious illness. It’s fine to ask for leave to recuperate. But after Mr. Pei recovered, the first thing he did when he went back to school was to submit his resignation to the school. He said that he wanted to go abroad to study again. I haven’t worked in China for a few years now.”

“Going to study abroad?”

“Well, I heard what my classmates said, and I’m not sure about the accuracy of the news, but it has already spread in the school, and the girls are all regretting it. It’s probably true.”

“…”

At this time, the traffic jammed ahead. The traffic finally moved, and Xu Juan turned his attention back to driving.

This is a new car he bought. His company has recently made good revenue, and the new game has made a lot of money. For the time being, the future is very bright.

However, he cherishes the hard-earned money more. When he went to pick up the car, he didn’t look at the expensive ones. other needs.

After taking the most congested road, Xu Juan asked, “When will he leave?”

Tang Sisi said, “I don’t know, since I’m going abroad to study, I guess it will take a while to prepare. I haven’t left my job yet, and I don’t know about the rest. He added, ”

Mr. Xu, have you been busy recently? The circle of friends has not been updated very much. I’m playing your company’s games. Many classmates around me are playing. It’s great!”

Xu Juan replied, “Thank you.”

Tang Sisi said: “By the way, I’m going to join the group for filming next month! It’s a scene arranged by Mr. Guo!”

“…”

Xu Juan was stunned for a moment, he had forgotten about this, he hadn’t paid attention to it for a long time, he thought Tang Sisi thought After being caught by Pei Yu, he calmed down and went back to school to study hard.

But I think it is also true, the contract has been signed, Guo Shao’s entertainment company is not a dry eater, how can she let her sign the contract for nothing?

She obviously likes it herself, who doesn’t want to be a big star? They all smashed their heads and rushed to climb up.

But Hongda is not a film and television academy. As a traditional famous school, its style is more old-fashioned. Will it give her a leave?

Xu Juan asked, but Tang Sisi didn’t hide it in front of him, and said directly: “I applied for a leave of absence.”

“…”

Xu Juan didn’t say anything else, and wished her a successful star career and an early fame, but she felt a little emotional in her heart. I wonder how Pei Yu would feel when he heard about it? 80% will be disappointed, he values academics more than others, and especially hates those unspoken rules.

But not everyone thinks this way, and there is no need to talk about right and wrong, to pursue different things. People go their own way, and the consequences are at their own risk. Can you still drag her back?

Maybe in a few years, Tang Sisi can really become a big star.

Xu Juan was too lazy to worry about other people’s affairs. He parked the car downstairs, went upstairs with a blank face, and went home to cook.

These days, he is learning to cook.

Cooking is simple, but the trouble is, he has to go to buy vegetables every time. Sometimes it is convenient, he buys a big bag full of vegetables at one time, and puts them in the refrigerator. Lost a lot.

But the next time I go to the supermarket, I still can’t help but buy more.

Xu Juan felt that this bad habit was difficult to correct.

Since you can’t correct it, you can only live with it peacefully, don’t blame yourself for it.

——Since breaking up with Pei Yu, his biggest change is that he doesn’t compete with himself anymore. No matter what he does, try to let it go, including feelings, don’t feel pain because he still likes Pei Yu, just like him, what can he do?

He looked away completely.

To be able to look away must be because the pain has passed the limit, and then the depth of the feeling becomes irrelevant.

– The limit was the night they broke up.

Xu Juan was very drunk that day, and when Pei Yu swept him out of the house, he was actually still a little awake, maybe it was a fluke, and he pretended to be stupid with himself by drinking alcohol.

He saw the boy leave wisely, and the door was wide open, leaving only him and Pei Yu.

Pei Yu took out his clothes one by one from the closet and rudely stuffed them into the suitcase. There was too much stuffing, and the box could not be closed, but Pei Yu didn’t have the patience to clean it up properly. Like that box, he tossed it for several minutes, but he still didn’t close it.

Xu Juan stood at the door and stared at him.

Seeing that his eyes were red and his expression was like a trapped beast, what surfaced was anger, but what he wanted to hide but couldn’t hide was sadness.

His tears crackled on the suitcase, and he cried silently for a while, then his anger subsided, and he stopped scolding Xu Juan. He seemed to accept his fate, calmly packed his things, and politely invited Xu Juan to go out. The last sentence was: “Go, don’t see each other again.” The

door slammed shut.

At Xu Juan’s feet, there were two large suitcases of luggage, one on the left and one on the right. He dragged the lever, got off the elevator mechanically, walked out of the community, and accidentally tripped over a brick on the side of the road when he went out the door, and stumbled and fell. .

The fall was so hard that the knee of the trousers was torn.

Xu Juan didn’t stand up. He lay down on the trolley case and took a deep breath. It was as if he had taken his first breath of oxygen tonight. His brain resumed work, and his pain nerves were awakened. The pain caused his eyes to open. , The monstrous flood drained all his strength, and he didn’t even know when he got up and left.

He went to the hotel, rested in the hotel for a few days, and wanted to understand one thing: the reason for the breakup of “incompatible personalities” turned out to be real.

He used to think that this was an excuse left by scumbags and scumbags when they dumped people, but now he understands that the essential reason for his and Pei Yu’s breakup is the incompatibility of personalities.

The so-called “disagreement” is usually mutual.

But everything has a source, and if one of them was to blame, it was him.

He was too easily tempted, the process was irresponsible, he made promises casually, but refused to follow through.

But Pei Yu only grew a tendon. From the beginning to the end, he didn’t learn to be smart. At first, he did everything he could to be nice to him. When he found out that he had been deceived, he took it all back and put his heart into it. Sixty degrees are closed without dead ends, and no trace of it will be revealed.

Pei Yu is a character who would rather be jade broken than tile, and Xu Juan did not dare to reach out to him again.

You don’t trust yourself more than you don’t trust him.

Xu Juan knew that his own nature was selfish, fickle, fond of the new and disliked the old. One thought today, another thought tomorrow, it would be difficult for him to control himself precisely, let alone Pei Yu?

If Pei Yu is a smooth person, has a scheming and understands strategy, maybe they will get along very well.

But Pei Yu like that couldn’t move his heart.

He only likes fools.

He can’t handle a fool.

Xu Juan felt desperate for herself.

But even if he has all kinds of bad things, he has worked hard to give his sincerity. He is good at countless routines and disguises, but he doesn’t want to show this side to Pei Yu anymore, he wants to use “himself” to fall in love sincerely, but it turns out that it is more difficult than cheating.

Maybe it’s because “himself” is not worthy of being liked by others.

When he took off his glossy coat, he was nothing.

Xu Juan suffered for a few days and finally accepted the reality.

He doesn’t reject his feelings for Pei Yu, on the contrary, because he wants to open up, he doesn’t want to torture Pei Yu anymore, and he doesn’t expect to “get it”, then his state of mind is more stable, and his love for Pei Yu has become much purer, even Sometimes I can feel happy when I recall the past.

Thinking like this, he thought he had completely seen the red dust, but when he was cutting vegetables, he remembered Tang Sisi’s words, “Mr. Pei is sick”, “Mr. Pei wants to resign and go abroad to study”…

He slashed his finger with blood and blood When he came out, he was still in a daze—

Is Pei Yu seriously ill?

Probably, maybe, this time I really can’t see it, right?

What if he still wants to see him?

Rolling red dust, one hundred thousand miles of heaven and earth, if he never sees Pei Yu again, what is the use of him wanting this red dust?

[End of This Chapter]