Deluge - Chapter 53

[Chapter 53]

Compared with Pei Yu, Xu Juan is a bolder person, because he is used to “whatever I want” since he was a child, and he is not afraid to “get it”.

But Pei Yu grew up in a relatively traditional environment, with a conservative personality. He has only done one outrageous thing in his life – being gay with Xu Juan and screwing it up.

Xu Juan asked him to nod, but he was stunned and didn’t move.

Xu Juan looked at his expression up close, and realized that he was a little reckless. It would be difficult for Pei Yu to accept and reject it at the right moment. The crack between them is so big, can they be reconciled immediately by nodding their heads? ? Obviously not.

But everything has been said, and the misunderstanding has been explained clearly. If Pei Yu still insists on rejecting him, they will completely die, and there will be no foreshadowing in the future life.

“Are you forcing me?” Pei Yu whispered, “Do you want me to choose one of the two dead ends?”

“No, that’s not what I meant!”

Xu Juan released his hand, and there was a headless fly. Walking a few steps in the living room, sadness suddenly came from it: “I don’t know, how do you say it’s not a dead end? I like you and want to be with you, I don’t want to watch you go abroad for several years, maybe More than ten years – what should I do? You tell me what should I do, Pei Yu?!”

Pei Yu didn’t answer.

If you have an answer, you don’t have to struggle so hard.

Xu Juan slumped down on the sofa, staring down at the ground.

In early winter, it got dark early, and when I came back just now, the light was full, and now the room is dark without the lights, and people’s expressions can’t be seen clearly from a few meters away.

He fiddled with his fingers vigorously, pinching ten fingers into a twisted shape, and when the pinching hurt, he spoke again.

“It’s all like this, I don’t want to say anything nice, and you don’t want to listen to it, do you?” Xu Juan said hoarsely, “So those empty promises like ‘I will treat you well in the future, I will definitely not let you be wronged’, I It doesn’t make any sense if we don’t talk about it. We have failed to talk so much, we quarrel every day, and there are many misunderstandings, but we can’t deny that we had a happy life. I think… If I can’t be with you, it will be a little difficult to think about happiness in the future. So I am not afraid of conflicts now. As long as you agree, we will solve the conflicts together. You see what is wrong with me, I will change it, and if you have any problems, I will also raise it. We can get along well, can’t we? Why not Give up? What do you think?”

Pei Yu stood behind him, so quiet that he could barely hear his breathing.

Xu Juan smiled bitterly: “We’ve all suffered so much, if we give up now, won’t we suffer in vain? I don’t want to miss it, I’ll leave regrets for myself, if you still love me, let’s start over, even if it’s…from It’s better to start as a friend or change to a more peaceful way of getting along. It will take a long time to come to Japan, and conflicts can be resolved slowly, but you can’t leave.”

“Also…” Xu Juan squeezed her fingers and choked, “I’m sorry to make you sad. .”

Xu Juan finished speaking for a long time, but there was still no sound behind him.

He couldn’t help looking back and found that Pei Yu was staring at him, and even if the light was low, he could see Pei Yu’s red eyes.

Pei Yu is really a person who can’t speak.

He seems to always have only two expressions, either full of love, looking at Xu Juan with his sweet eyes pretending to be reserved, or a frosty face, hiding all complex emotions under a cold mask, pretending to be like iron.

But after the storm was over, Pei Yu was still Pei Yu.

Still his favorite look.

Xu Juan walked up to him and said, “Do you agree with what I said? Or let’s be friends first, spend a while, nod if you agree, shake your head if you disagree.”

Pei Yu moved.

Xu Juansheng was afraid that he would shake his head, so he used both hands to grab Pei Yu’s face, forcing his head to move up and down.

“…”

Pei Yu’s eyes turned even redder, a little annoyed, he frowned and patted his hand.

“Thank you, Teacher Pei.” Xu Juan breathed a sigh of relief, wanting to laugh and cry, “Speak up, why are you dumb?”

Pei Yu’s voice was dull: “What do you want me to say?”

“Just say what you want to say. What.”

“I don’t want to say anything.”

“…”

Xu Juan turned on the light and dragged him to sit on the sofa: “Then let me invite you to dinner, what shall we have for dinner?”

Pei Yu said: “I don’t Take out.”

Xu Juan choked: “I can cook, you just order food.”

Pei Yu glanced at him suspiciously, Xu Juan pinched his ears awkwardly: “The newbie is on the road, and now he knows three dishes. : Scrambled eggs with tomatoes, scrambled eggs with cucumbers, scrambled eggs with green peppers.”

Pei Yu: “…”

He was really afraid that Pei Yu would say “I don’t eat eggs”, but what was even more embarrassing was that there were no eggs at home.

Xu Juan rummaged through the refrigerator for a long time, but he couldn’t find any ingredients that could provide him with stability, so he had to give up, “Let’s go out to eat?” It’s not far, just a few minutes’ walk.”

Pei Yu said: “Then eat another day, I’ll go back first.”

“…”

Sure enough, when Pei Yu wanted to leave, Xu Juan quickly closed the refrigerator door and followed to the door : “Wait! Let’s… leave a contact information!”

He asked in a tentative tone, just like when he first met, “Have you already deleted it? Add a WeChat.”

Pei Yu looked at him firmly: “Are you serious, Xu Juan?”

“What?”

“Start with friends, get along well, and solve problems.”

“Well, really.” Xu Juan smiled lightly, “You Look, isn’t it good now? In fact, we don’t have to make a fuss about life and death, and we don’t have to deal with each other. Let’s talk calmly and get along slowly, and it will get better, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Not possible, yes Definitely.”

“…”

Xu Juan wanted to ask, do you still want to go to the UK? When the words came to his lips, he refrained from saying it. Maybe he could leave this question for tomorrow. Anyway, Pei Yu couldn’t leave for a while. Going to settle abroad is not a trip abroad, so he had to prepare well for a while.

Having said that, he has asked enough today. The last key question should be left to Pei Yu to make his own decision. He doesn’t need to speak anymore, let alone force it.

After adding WeChat friends, Xu Juan didn’t hold back, and sent Pei Yu downstairs in person.

He wanted to drive the person back, but Pei Yu refused, saying that during the evening rush hour, the road was too congested, so it would be better to take the subway.

They walked out of the community side by side in the dark night.

It was too cold, and the tip of Xu Juan’s nose was red from the wind. He reached out to rub it, and the tips of his fingers were also frozen red.

Pei Yu looked at him sideways.

Pei Yu is always like this, he doesn’t speak, but he keeps looking at him, defensive, happy, embarrassed, dependent, cold… Many kinds of eyes have calmed down now, but they are still looking at him.

Xu Juan’s heart was sour, and she forced a smile: “The subway station is over there.” He raised his hand and pointed very close, “Go back early, eat some food, and have a good rest.”

“Yeah.” Pei Yu responded and walked out After a few steps, he suddenly looked back at him, as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t say anything.

Xu Juan didn’t ask, he watched Pei Yu go away, disappeared, and stood there for a while.

When friends are self-deceiving nonsense, they know that no one can really regard each other as friends.

But there needs to be a safe distance between them, just like building a bridge over the abyss called “En Duan Yi Jue”. On the left and right ends of the bridge, one person occupies one side.

One day, they will be able to cross this bridge.

…

Xu Juan patted his face, it was too cold and frozen.

He went back upstairs, ordered a takeout for himself, then opened WeChat to check Pei Yu’s circle of friends.

In the past month or so, Pei Yu has only posted two.

One is a roadside scenery that I took casually, and the color tone of the picture is very dark. The other is a large piece of text, Xu Juan was reading it, and only saw the first sentence was “You bastard, are you a human being?” He couldn’t see it clearly after that, he accidentally slid to the screen and refreshed. Yes, this one is gone.

“…”

Xu Juan was stunned for a moment, why is it gone? deleted? Did you delete it too soon?

As soon as he was added back to his friends, he deleted the circle of friends. This one really scolded him.

You’ve been scolded, so what are you covering up? Teacher Pei is really thin-skinned.

Xu Juan couldn’t hold back, clicked on Pei Yu’s dialog box, and sent a smiling face full of connotation.

Pei Yu flashed “I’m typing”, but he didn’t reply for a long time, probably because he was embarrassed.

Xu Juan thought contentedly, “Hey, I’m really annoying.

[End of This Chapter]