Eternal Burning - Chapter 3

[Chapter 3 Optimism is an illusion, misfortune is the norm]

The weather was cloudy and I was worried that it would rain, so I brought an umbrella when I went out.

The activity point of the psychological support group is not far from my home, about five kilometers away, in the indoor gymnasium of an elementary school.

I heard Shen Luoyu say that the person in charge of the group is the administrative staff of this elementary school, so they can borrow the idle gymnasium at night.

My car is still being repaired and I can only call and reserve a taxi to pick me up. The car that can hold my car is not available anytime and anywhere, and it took a long time for a yellow taxi to arrive late.

When I arrived at my destination, a middle-aged lady with a genial face and a plump figure was already waiting in front of the gymnasium. When he saw me, his eyes narrowed with laughter.

“Are you Beijiao? Hello, I’m Liao Yinnian, the head of the optimistic psychology group. You can just call me Sister Liao. Miss Shen has told me about your situation before. Don’t be under pressure, just come over and make friends. Yes,” she said, walking around behind me.

I could see her intention, and hurriedly stopped: “No, I can come by myself, just help me down the door.”

Sister Liao was stunned for a moment, then nodded: “Oh, good.”

There were already a lot of people in the room . , Everyone sits in a circle around the ping-pong table, with an English black tea cup in front of everyone.

“Do you want black tea or coffee?” Sister Liao led me to the table.

I looked around, nodded slightly at a few people who were looking at me, and replied, “Tea, thank you.”

Sister Liao hooked the teapot from the side and filled it for me.

There were only about six or seven people present, old and young, male and female, all dressed differently. These people are much healthier than me just by looking at them, and they don’t look like people who are full of sadness. If Sister Liao hadn’t confirmed with me before, I would have wondered if Shen Luoyu had reported the wrong group to me.

“Okay, it’s almost time, let’s start first.” Sister Liao gave a high five, making everyone look at her, “There was a newcomer, but I don’t think he will come, so let’s not wait. .”

Almost as soon as she finished speaking, the door of the gymnasium was pushed open from the outside, and the faint smell of water rushed in with the cool night wind.

I turned to look with everyone, just in time to see Shang Muxiao stepping into the room with a dark face. It must have been raining outside, making his hair wet, and a dark watermark appeared on the shoulders of the denim jacket.

He wiped his neck with the back of his hand, glanced around the room, and looked at me unexpectedly, and at the same time, his face darkened even more.

Who saw this scene and said “Damn” in their hearts?

“You’re Miss Shang’s younger brother, right?” Sister Liao was still enthusiastic and greeted her, “Come and sit down, I’ll assume you won’t come. It’s raining outside? You look wet, I’ll go. Get you a towel, you wait.”

Shang Muxiao and I looked at each other for a while, then withdrew his gaze and sat opposite me.

I picked up the teacup and took a sip, sighing inwardly. The enemy’s road is narrow, how can there be such a coincidence?

Sister Liao quickly brought a brand new towel from the utility room, and Shang Muxiao thanked it and took it, wiping her hair a little.

“It’s all together now.” Sister Liao sat in her seat, like a host, and announced the official start of the psychological mutual aid activity. “Let’s start with the self-introduction of the newcomer.” After speaking, she turned her attention to me.

Although I am used to being watched and asked as a central point, those are all professional needs, and the situation is still very different from the current situation.

Sitting on the podium to give a lecture, you don’t need to reveal your heart so deeply.

“My name is Beijiao, Beibei in the north, mustard of mustard grass. I teach in the Department of Philosophy of Qingwan University. I am 32 years old. As you can see, I am a disabled person with paralysis of both lower limbs.” After

a moment of silence, I was sure that I had After speaking, Sister Liao took the lead in applauding: “Welcome to Beijie.”

“Welcome!”

“Welcome…”

The rest of the people applauded, with a kind, scalp-tingling smile on their faces.

“Next.” Sister Liao squinted at the young man who was boringly stirring coffee with a silver spoon.

Shang Muxiao felt the scorching gazes of everyone, raised his head and let go, the metal silver spoon collided with the porcelain, making a soft sound, which was particularly prominent in a quiet environment.

“Shang Muxiao, a sophomore in the Finance Department of Qingwan University, 20 this year.” He leaned back and made a brief self-introduction casually.

“Oh, both of you are from Qingwan University, what a coincidence.” Sister Liao controlled the rhythm and asked the rest to introduce themselves one by one.

Housewives, white-collar workers from foreign companies, retirees, bald men, anchors with goods, high school girls… and Sister Liao, there are exactly nine people.

Next, Sister Liao asked everyone to tell us about their current situation, some changes this week compared to last week, or all kinds of big and small things that happened around us.

“My son is not sensible at all. This week I was called to school by the teacher again, and I lost my face.” The housewife complained, “The husband is completely useless whether he is in bed or under the bed, and he is tired when he gets home, except for eating. There is nothing else to talk about with me in the shower. It’s another week when I want to abandon my husband and my son.”

“The work pressure is very high. I work overtime every day this week, and the dark circles under my eyes are on the corners of my mouth, and my boss keeps urging me to do so. The progress of the project. My parents don’t understand me as before. They feel that I deliberately don’t have a girlfriend or get married, and they call me all day long…” The white-collar worker scratched his head irritably

. The tumor in my lung has grown. But I am not going to have surgery, and I still plan to take conservative treatment. I will live to my age, and I don’t want to toss any more…” After the white-haired old man finished speaking, he joked to the white-collar worker. Said, “Actually, I have a granddaughter who will be 30 this year. See if you are interested, I can help you connect with each other.”

There were sporadic laughter at the scene, which eased the somewhat depressed atmosphere.

Shen Luoyu is not mistaken, this is indeed an “optimistic and upward psychological support group”. Everyone seems to have been abandoned by happiness, remove the sturdy disguise on the surface, and have the big word “bad” written on their faces.

Soon, in order, it was my turn to write. In fact, I didn’t know what to say, so after a moment of hesitation, I came up with the reason for coming here.

“My family thinks I’m not positive about life, I’m too pessimistic. They want me to make some changes, they want me to be happy, so they signed me up for this group.” I looked up and looked at everyone, “but I didn’t mean to Happy. I just firmly believe… that life should be full of pain and insatiable desires. Optimism is an illusion, misery is the norm. I don’t have any idea of changing the status quo, I feel good about myself.”

Living alone, Eating alone; away from family, without a lover; lonely, but enjoying loneliness.

Others think I am pitiful, but “poor” is just a label of objectivity. As a subject, my life is not affected by this label.

“If you can choose to restore your body to the most healthy state, don’t you want to change it?” The end of the procrastination echoed in the empty gymnasium.

The healthiest state… It should be when I am not paralyzed.

This question is quite embarrassing.

I looked at Shang Muxiao, who was questioning, and met his gaze without giving in.

“This question doesn’t make sense.”

Time can’t go back, and my body can’t go back to its healthiest state. And even if I am not paralyzed, human beings are born to death, and from the moment they are born, they are doomed to decline step by step. The collapse of the body is inevitable, and immortality is just a dream of Qin Shihuang.

No one spoke for a long time. Sister Liao coughed lightly and said in a rounded tone: “You don’t need to say too much for the first time. You can listen to others first.”

Clockwise down, the bald man confided his troubles about being bald and said: I am always teased by my colleagues, and I can’t get a girlfriend; because the anchors who bring goods are attacked by black fans all the year round, they can only take sleeping pills to fall asleep every night. He has always been excellent in character and study, and is deeply loved by his teachers and parents, but he has no friends.

In this gymnasium, in front of the ping pong table, all living beings are displayed incisively and vividly.

When it was Shang Muxiao’s turn, everyone was looking at him. He tilted his chair, his eyes fell under the table, and combined with the slight tremors of his arm muscles, I guessed that he was playing with his mobile phone.

“Mu Xiao.” Sister Liao could only call out to him.

“My sister asked me to come. I listened to her words, so I came.” Shang Muxiao didn’t raise his head when he spoke, still maintaining the appearance of nothing to do with him.

Because Shang Muxiao was not very cooperative, Sister Liao had to act as a questioner.

“So, what’s your problem?”

“My problem is that I don’t think I have a problem, but my sister thinks I have a problem.”

If it wasn’t for Liang Zi’s relationship, he would have liked to shake hands with him and sighed “sympathize with each other.” .

“Then what does your sister think you have a problem with?” Sister Liao asked.

The chair swayed twice and fell back to the ground. Shang Muxiao finally raised his face, threw his phone on the table, and threw a thunderbolt: “She thinks I want to kill her boyfriend.”

Sister Liao was shocked, Some were frightened and lost their voices.

“Do you really want to kill him?” I asked.

Shang Muxiao looked over and didn’t seem to expect that I would interject at such a time.

“Of course it’s a joke.” He curled his lips and said unconvincingly, “That man is not worthy of my sister. I may have gone too far with my words and deeds, but I just want them to break up.”

“But, so does your sister . A free and independent individual, love is her own business, you can listen to her thoughts and respect her choice, but you should not interfere. Whoever she falls in love with does not need the consent of others.” The housewife couldn’t listen anymore and expressed own opinion.

Shang Muxiao nodded, completely agreeing, but resolutely did not change.

“Indeed, no. But I hate that a person doesn’t need consent, don’t I?” Even though his tone was inoffensive, it was creepy.

A housewife may have never encountered such a thorn before, so she shrank, took a sip of tea, and stopped talking.

Starting at 7:30 and ending at 9:30, Shang Muxiao left in the second half in the name of going to the toilet and never came back. I thought he had left early, but when I went out, I saw that he was still smoking under the eaves of the door.

The rain was a little less, but it was still a little dense.

The members of the group took their umbrellas and left without saying goodbye, not seeing how enthusiastic they were. Sister Liao said that after leaving the building, everything inside became a secret. Even if they met each other on the road, they could be regarded as not acquaintances. Don’t be stressed, don’t be burdened.

Gradually, there were only me and Shang Muxiao left under the eaves. He was on the far right and I was on the far left. There was a long distance between the two of them. It looked only five or six meters, but it was actually a whole Mariana Trench.

Perhaps because of the rainy weather, the car could not be called for a long time, and I could not leave for a long time, so I could only embarrassedly shrink under this cramped roof with Shang Muxiao.

“Why haven’t you left yet?”

I turned to look at Shang Muxiao, he was leaning against the wall, his hands fell to his side, when I met his gaze, he slowly exhaled a puff of white smoke from his mouth.

The smoke caressed his cheeks and slowly dissipated in the air, and the damp wind nudged it gently, dropping a faint smokey kiss on my face.

It’s like… my favorite scene in “The Wind Backward”.

I blinked, wanting to open up a little more distance from each other, but it was raining next to me, and I really had nowhere to go.

Annoying bitch, can’t it just stay side by side?

In order to avoid his misunderstanding, I gave a rare comprehensive explanation: “Because someone crashed my car, I now have to take a taxi when I go out, but unfortunately it is raining today, and it is difficult to take a car nearby. This is why I still The reason for not leaving.” After I finished speaking, I ignored him, lowered my head and continued to try to use the software to take a taxi.

After waiting for a timeout, he asked me if I wanted to increase the price. I just ordered it, and I was empty. I looked up in astonishment and found that Shang Muxiao took my phone away.

“Since it’s me, I’ll take you back.” With that, he threw the cigarette butt into the trash can.

I looked at him in disbelief. This person really wanted to come out and come out, and he clearly said before that he didn’t want to see me again, but now he wants to take the initiative to send me home.

What, regret not taking my “opportunity”?

[End of This Chapter]