Eternal Burning - Chapter 58

[Chapter 58 You Lie To Yourself]

Shang Muxiao threw me on the bed and fell asleep. I couldn’t move, even if I went to the kitchen to pour a glass of water, let alone recharge the exoskeleton.

I can’t be trusted to be crazy and drunk…

I stared at the person beside me for a long time, and there were many discordant images in my heart that made him cry when he took off his pants and beat him. He felt nothing, his eyelashes slumped under his eyes, and he slept soundly.

Sighing lightly, I reached out and rubbed his head randomly, took off my coat and exoskeleton equipment resignedly, and read a book on my phone while lying on the bed.

If you had to pick a few epoch-making modern inventions, e-books would definitely be on the list—you can choose the books you want to read anytime, anywhere, wherever your phone is, where your library is.

But I still feel like it lacks some of the joy of touching a physical book. The smooth paper, the smell of ink, and the sound of flipping pages are all things that electronic devices cannot give, and come from the response of books.

Just like a beautiful piece of art, photos also seem to let you appreciate its beauty, but actually holding the real thing in your hands is another experience.

Click on Schopenhauer’s “Wisdom of Life” and start reading from the introduction.

Schopenhauer swears that this is a book that teaches people how to be happy, but I bet at least half of the people who read this book will not agree with his point of view because they are stabbed in the foot.

For example, he believes that people who are keen on socializing are shallow-minded, boring and stupid people. Because people with deep thinking have too much of themselves, they will no longer ask for things from the crowd, avoid contact with others, and enjoy being alone.

I don’t know how many people have been criticized by this paragraph.

For another example, he believes that beauty is very important, and it is also for men.

After reading this, I glanced at Shang Muxiao next to him, his side face was pressed against the pillow, his hair was a little messy on his forehead, and the lines on the lower half of his face were tough and smooth, which is difficult for even the best sculptors to create. masterpiece.

…Well, Schopenhauer is right, beauty does matter.

After reading the book and seeing it after eleven o’clock, I felt a little sleepy, and was about to turn off the lights and go to sleep when Shang Muxiao suddenly let out a series of painful low-pitched groans.

“Don’t… Mom, I was wrong… I’m sorry…”

He closed his eyes and frowned, apparently trapped in some terrible dream and difficult to wake up.

“Shang Muxiao?” I pushed him on the shoulder and tried to wake him up, but he was so terrified that he only whimpered in fear, scratching his fingers helplessly, like a drowning person asking for help.

“Shh… darling, it’s alright… it’s alright…” I took him upstairs into my arms and touched his head softly to comfort him.

After a while, he calmed down, no more confused ravings, and seemed to be awake. But when I was about to let him go, he wrapped around my waist and wouldn’t let me move.

“Hold me for a while.” He hoarsely said, tightening his arms even more.

Looking down at the hairy head on my chest, I stopped struggling and patted his back with my fingers, acquiescing to his behavior.

After a while, he calmed down and opened his mouth, starting from Shang Lu and Mei Zixun, and slowly told his childhood nightmares.

“My parents fell in love at first sight…”

Mei Zixun has been known as a talented girl since she was a child. At the age of fourteen, she held her first solo exhibition and became famous in the art circle. Since then, the wind has been smooth and the future is promising.

Shang Lu was accidentally invited by a friend to see Mei Zixun’s art exhibition. The painting did not attract him much, but the girl who painted the painting occupied all his attention. At that time, one of them was nineteen and the other was eighteen. The girl was one year older than the boy, both of whom were at the beginning of their love affair. The two fiery souls collided with each other.

At the age of twenty, Mei Zixun resolutely gave birth to Shang Yunrou, despite her parents’ objections, and formed a “family” with Shang Lu.

At that time, Shang Lukong had an appearance, he didn’t want money, he didn’t want a name, and he was taking classes in an actor training class. But Mei Zixun doesn’t care, she thinks this is love, and she doesn’t hesitate to break with her family for this.

And Shang Lu to Mei Zixun… that may no longer be called “love”, but more like a belief. He was obsessed with everything about her, obeyed her every word, and obeyed everything, even if he entered the show business circle and developed.

But love is such a thing, and sometimes “love” is not enough.

Mei Zixun is addicted to creation, and Shang Lu’s acting career is thriving. They all knew the problem and tried to solve it, so they had a second child, Shang Muxiao.

Mei Zixun had a strong reaction in the early stage of pregnancy, and it was even difficult to give birth during the delivery, and the situation was critical. After giving birth, she began to lose a lot of hair and suffer from severe insomnia. Even if Shang Lu invited the best doctor for her, it had little effect. The worst thing is that she lost her desire to create, her brain became numb, her body was in constant pain, and she could no longer paint as good as before.

She started blaming Shang Lu, the new-born child, and everyone else. She was sick, very sick.

In order to better accompany his wife, Shang Lu had to give up his flourishing acting career and return to his family.

He obeyed her unconditionally, loved what she loved and hated what she hated. She doesn’t love Shang Muxiao and doesn’t allow anyone to love him, so Shang Lu doesn’t love him either, and treats him as a transparent person in the family.

“She thinks… I am the reincarnation of the evil lord, who came to destroy her and devour her. In my impression, she always looks hysterical and has never been calm.”

Aristotle believes that all excellent, Outstanding people are melancholy.

The once genius has fallen, and he can’t bear to become mediocre. For sensitive artists, they are naturally sentimental, and it is indeed easier to exacerbate their inherent pessimism due to certain setbacks, and Mei Zixun is no exception.

The book “Wisdom of Life” mentions that there are two extremes that lead to suicide, one of which is that innate depression is morbidly exacerbated. Mei Zixun’s tragedy can be said to be formed the day after tomorrow, or it can be said to be doomed by nature.

“She was always indifferent and impatient with me. I never got a trace of warmth from her. When she was three years old, she tried to kill me for the first time…”

I moved involuntarily, shocked Yu Mei Zi Xun actually wanted to kill his son more than once.

“She was always in the studio, and I was so curious about the things that would get her attention, so I sneaked in. I touched her paint and just dipped some of it with my fingers.”

“She came in and looked at it. When I got to me, I started yelling like crazy, saying that I broke her painting. But I swear, I really didn’t touch her painting.” Unlike the thrilling content, his tone was calm and unwavering. Wulan was not angry either, she heard that she was about to fall asleep in the next second, “She strangled my neck and told me to die. If my sister hadn’t rushed in and pushed her away, I might have died. My sister said that my mother used to It’s not like that, Mom is just sick and she doesn’t want to be so scary.”

“Sick, can I be forgiven for doing anything?”

He started shaking, like I used to be in a nightmare.

I tightened my arms and hugged him harder. I didn’t say anything, just held him silently and listened to him finish everything.

“They all thought that three years old would not have a memory, and they thought I would forget it sooner or later. But I didn’t forget it, I can’t forget it. I will remember it until I die, remember how she tried to kill me…”

About four or five years later Minutes later, the trembling of his body gradually stopped. I felt his arms loosen, and I loosened my arms.

He raised his head, his eyes were slightly red, but fortunately there were no tears.

Glancing at me deeply, he rolled over and got out of bed: “What time is it?”

“It’s half past eleven.”

Picking up the suit jacket on the ground, he tossed it and put it on his arm.

“Where’s your spare wheelchair?”

I pointed to the living room and said, “Stuck by the bookcase.”

He nodded and went out.

It seemed that he was completely sober, and he didn’t know how much he remembered what happened tonight.

Not long after, Shang Muxiao came in with a wheelchair.

After parking the wheelchair beside my bed, he picked up the exoskeleton I took off and went outside. When I went outside, he had already charged the device.

Exoskeleton equipment is a high-tech product, and its structure is quite complicated. I only knew how to use it with the guidance of a technician. Shang Muxiao is now skilled in operating it as if he had used it himself.

There was a strangeness in my heart for no reason, and before I could think about it, Shang Muxiao stood up and walked towards me.

“I’m back, and the egg yolk hasn’t walked at night yet.” He said so, but he didn’t move a step.

From my side to his side, it only takes five minutes at most, which is convenient.

“Well, rest early.” After a busy day today, I was tossed around by him for so long at night, I was exhausted, and I just took a shower and went to bed after he left.

He stood there for a while and asked, “Tomorrow, can I take your car to school?”

I was probably tired and confused, and even thought he looked a little “uneasy”.

what is this? Act like a spoiled child, shed a tear, and write off everything in front of you?

“…Aren’t you going to give me your bank card number?” I asked instead of answering.

He heard this and frowned slightly, more like the debt collector than me.

“I’ll give it to you tomorrow.” He observed my expression and added, “I’ll give it to you in the car tomorrow.”

Oh, there’s no way.

“Wait downstairs at eight o’clock on time, don’t be late.” Hearing that,

his brows suddenly stretched out: “Then… see you tomorrow.”

“… um.”

A smile flashed in his eyes, and he casually threw his precious coat from his shoulders to his back, and turned around to go out the door.

I told myself that this was not soft-hearted, it was just to pay him back faster, but a part of the rationality that was suppressed by me in my heart broke free, and I was deeply disdainful of this.

Just lie to yourself, fool…

shut up! I shut it up again, genuinely wondering why it could be so mean.

The exoskeleton is good or bad, but if it suddenly runs out of electricity or breaks like today, it will be a real embarrassment. Not sure if there will be spare batteries, and if so how much will it cost?

I kept thinking about this question when I was taking a shower. After taking a shower, I couldn’t help but take out my phone and send a message to Representative Xiao to ask.

Almost in the next instant, the phone rang softly from the other side of the bed.

I followed the sound to find it under the bed, and found a mobile phone on the floor, which should have been accidentally dropped by Shang Muxiao when he took off his jacket.

Picking it up, flipping it to the front, I can’t avoid seeing the photo on his lit screen, which was set as the lock screen – a candid photo of mine. I was lecturing, with a laser pointer in my hand, and I didn’t notice the presence of the lens at all. Looking at my clothes, it should be winter.

On the lit screen, not only my photo, but a pop-up message showing the sender’s nickname and content.

[Representative Xiao, do you have spare batteries for the exoskeleton? 】

Sender – Arabidopsis.

[End of This Chapter]