Ferocious Dog of Old - Chapter 102

[Chapter 102]

The words that Pan Xiaozhuo didn’t hear clearly, and Tao Huainan himself blocked, was a confused and hesitant sentence: “Xiaozhuo, I don’t think I can hear it.” The

excessively silent world is like a nightmare, and when Chi Cheng sits next to him Touching his head, Tao Huainan seemed to have suddenly woken up from some terrible nightmare.

The voice is still there, the world is still there, Chi Cheng touched his head and asked him what was wrong, Tao Huainan shook his head, he didn’t know it himself, his memory and thinking seemed to be confused, and everything seemed unreal.

Tao Huainan has been blind since childhood, and he has always relied on his ears the most. Tao Huainan quickly forgot the sound that was briefly turned off that morning. But he remembered Xiaodong’s voice. The helplessness and melancholy in Xiaodong’s tone were engraved in Tao Huainan’s mind. Every time he thought about it, he felt numb all over.

Thin, shaved, and out of time.

This made Tao Huainan’s conscious world dark every day. The boundless darkness almost engulfed him, and he hugged his brother, not knowing what he could do to stop it.

Tao Huainan didn’t remember that he had briefly lost contact with the world that morning, so the first time he lost his voice in a conscious state, after the initial confusion, Tao Huainan sat in the classroom chair, and his body kept shaking. in a cold sweat.

Although there was only half a class, Tao Huainan’s cold sweat soaked the back of his shirt.

His face was as white as paper, and he kept rubbing his ears.

Ordinary people lose their hearing and eyes, and the blind lose their hearing, they really have nothing.

Tao Huainan was like being thrown into the dark seabed during the 20 minutes of being immersed in absolute sealing. He sank slowly in the bone-chilling cold, sinking into another dark and different world.

No light can be seen in the blink of an eye, no sound can be heard by the side ear. The time was stretched for a long, long time, and those twenty minutes felt like hours had passed for Tao Huainan.

Fortunately, only twenty minutes.

After class, his classmates asked him if he was not feeling well, Tao Huainan said “it’s all right”.

At noon that day, Tao Huainan only had a few mouthfuls of food and couldn’t eat. Chi Cheng didn’t tell him, and even said to him, “If you can’t eat, don’t eat.”

After lunch, he and Chi Cheng went back to the classroom for a while, and covered Wearing Chi Cheng’s school uniform jacket, Chi Cheng patted his back through the jacket.

With the first time, there will be a second time and a third time. After the third time of deafness, Tao Huainan called Pan Xiaozhuo in a low voice.

Pan Xiaozhuo was flipping through the book at the time, and agreed casually: “Huh?”

Tao Huainan asked slowly, “Can you accompany me to the hospital in the afternoon?”

Pan Xiaozhuo immediately asked, “What’s wrong with you?

” In the cold sweat just now, his eyes couldn’t focus, he turned his head slightly in Pan Xiaozhuo’s direction, and said softly, “I can’t hear the sound sometimes.”

Pan Xiaozhuo was so frightened that he sat upright on the chair, his eyes widened. Staring at Tao Huainan: “What do you mean? Can’t hear? Tinnitus? Can’t hear??”

Tao Huainan touched his ear, his fingers were shaking: “It’s not that I can’t hear, it’s that I can’t hear…I can’t hear anything. .”

Pan Xiaozhuo stared at Tao Huainan and didn’t say a word for half a minute.

Both are good students. Pan Xiaozhuo is also the study committee member in the class. The two of them have never been in trouble, and the teacher will give them as soon as they ask for leave in the afternoon.

Pan Xiaozhuo said that Tao Huainan was uncomfortable and wanted to accompany him for an injection. The teacher happily gave them leave and asked them to go to the school hospital, and asked Pan Xiaozhuo to take care of Tao Huainan.

The two did not go to the school hospital, but ran out secretly.

After checking all afternoon, all the checks that could be done were done. Tao Huainan didn’t carry any money on him, but Pan Xiaozhuo paid for the money. All kinds of hearing functions were tested, acoustic conductance was done, and cochlear electrogram was also done, but nothing was found this afternoon, there was no organic disease, and the ear was fine.

Pan Xiaozhuo asked the doctor tremblingly, “What is that for, why?” The

doctor was an older professor wearing thick glasses. He said it might be mental, don’t worry too much, and asked the parents.

Pan Xiaozhuo said, “I don’t want to worry my family first.” The

doctor said again, “No big deal” and asked, “How old are you?”

Pan Xiaozhuo said, “Senior year.”

The professor looked at the two of them, and spoke very gently, saying that it was easy to cure, but he still had to tell the adults in the family, don’t be afraid.

The doctor still saw a lot, and calmly told them not to worry, but repeated several times to tell the family, and said that next time you can come to see him with the adults in the family. The two children are not stupid. They know that the doctor just didn’t want to increase their psychological pressure.

The old professor spoke so euphemistically that only one word was mentioned at the end.

“What about this hysterical deafness? It doesn’t mean that you are really deaf. After all, our functions are all good, right? It’s still affected by your mental aspect, too much pressure, and stimulation. It’s all possible. Me too. Some patients, without any stimulation, have a frightening dream and suddenly can’t hear when they wake up, so it doesn’t matter, don’t worry, it can be cured.”

Pan Xiaozhuo frowned and asked, “How to cure it?” The

professor looked again. Looking at them, he slowly said: “This has to go to a psychiatrist. If there is an organic disease, it can be here with us, but if we are not really sick, we should go to a psychiatrist to see it. Many patients can be cured without treatment. , when the pressure is gone, it will recover naturally, it is not absolute.”

One might be “hysterical deafness”, and no matter how you look at or listen to these four words, it doesn’t look good.

At first glance, the doctor’s words sounded reassuring, after all, his ears were not damaged.

The two children went back to school before the evening break. In the car, Pan Xiaozhuo asked Tao Huainan, “Do you want to tell your family?”

Tao Huainan made a sound of “um”, knowing that his ears were not damaged, and he was slightly relieved, and said in a low voice, “Let’s talk about it after the test.”

Pan Xiaozhuo was very worried, but comforted him: “It’s alright, don’t be afraid.”

Tao Huainan nodded and said, “I’m not afraid.”

At that time, Tao Huainan was indeed not afraid, as long as his ears were not damaged.

But there are two sides to the problem. If the ear is not damaged, it will not be able to hear. Once it is cured, there will be no way to do it, and there will be no chance to wear a hearing aid. Tinnitus, low voice, and inability to hear, none of these transitions, just completely cut off.

From that day on, Tao Huainan began a silent struggle with silence, fearing silence, but also resisting it firmly.

He began to rely on the sound, and it was only by listening to the sound that he felt safe. He needs to wear headphones all the time, so he can see when he can’t hear. The headphones also act as a disguise for him, providing a reason for his inability to hear.

One afternoon, when there was no class in the class, a pair of little tablemates sneaked out again.

Pan Xiaozhuo helped him make an appointment for treatment in advance, and went to a mental hospital with the hospital’s diagnosis and those test results and reports. The doctor this time was very young and said long-term treatment was needed. He didn’t take it too seriously either, but there they met a patient.

He got this disease three years ago, and has been deaf for three years. So far, there is no sign of improvement, and he can’t hear at all.

It was a tough day, and every minute was painful.

Tao Huainan was worried about his brother and himself. He had to study and prepare for the college entrance examination, and the most difficult thing was not to be discovered by his brothers when he couldn’t hear him. Chi Cheng is not easy to deceive, his understanding of Tao Huainan goes deep into his bones.

Tao Huainan could only keep covering his earphones, talking less and responding less whether he could hear or not. Make his sluggishness and impatience the norm for a while so it doesn’t seem abrupt and weird at certain moments.

But the brothers loved him, Tao Huainan’s abnormal tantrums and his irritable tone all indulged him. Once Chi Cheng dropped his earphones, Tao Huainan knew that he might be angry. Tao Huainan didn’t want to lie to him the last. Every lie he told Chi Cheng, every anger and impatience he pretended to be, was a knife that slashed at him.

Tao Huainan began to become frightened as he became inaudible more and more and for a longer period of time.

He checked data on his mobile phone every day, checked hysterical deafness, and checked past cases. The blind mode is not so easy to use. Some software is perfect, but the web page is not good. There are many words and links on it, and you often make mistakes. Tao Huainan searched for content that could comfort him in the dense text, and found sustenance in them.

There are so many people who cannot be cured. They all have the mentality that they can be cured, and they have completely entered the deaf population.

Darkness and silence are the breeding ground for all negative emotions.

During the inaudible time, Tao Huainan’s greatest feeling was loneliness. It is absolute loneliness that leaves no room for anything. Despair, fear, and a strong sense of suffocation and suffocation arise under loneliness.

Every time he couldn’t hear, he would cover his ears, thinking of the blind and deaf child he saw that year. He lived like a small animal, closed and content in his own world. Grandma said he’d stopped forever as a baby, and that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tao Huainan also remembered the boy who played the saxophone very well in the school for the blind when he was a child. When he jumped from the twelfth floor, he must have been afraid.

Tao Huainan has gained more and more ties than that little saxophone boy.

He has a brother. Xiaodong now has Brother Tang, but Chi Cheng has nothing, Chi Cheng has only him. Tao Huainan and Chi Cheng are bound together as a whole, and Chi Cheng will never let him go.

Every time Tao Huainan thinks, if he also becomes a blind and deaf person, will he choose to live like the blind and deaf child, relying on his hands to identify simple objects to get some information, sinking into the deep sea by himself, With the food, drink and Lazar, who is taken care of by Chi Cheng and brother every day, to continue the only connection with this world.

Tao Huainan loves hearing Chi Cheng’s heartbeat so much, and when he can hear it, he wants to put himself in Chi Cheng’s heart and shut it up more than once. Being surrounded by Chi Cheng’s heartbeat made him feel at ease, and that was the only way to feel at ease.

Tao Huainan has become more and more embarrassed, and he has gradually revealed more clues, but his brothers have endured him and are unwilling to provoke him before the college entrance examination.

Tao Huainan anxiously hoped that all this would end soon, and every time he regained his hearing, he hoped that this would be the last time.

When Chi Cheng kissed him, Tao Huainan always kissed him deeply. The little brother has really changed a lot, and he is not so angry. After getting angry, as long as Tao Huainan becomes obedient, he can still hold him connivingly, little brother. become soft.

Tao Huainan loves him very much.

On the eve of the college entrance examination, Tao Huainan’s deafness was so severe that he could not hear when he opened his eyes in the morning, and he couldn’t recover all day.

Hope was gradually worn away. The feeling that someone was coming can only be known through the slight change in the airflow and the friction of the cloth and quilt around him, which made people breathless. Tao Huainan didn’t know if someone was really here or if he was too sensitive to hallucinations, he could only frown and say “I don’t want to talk now” every time he felt it, whether it was true or not.

If someone came, he would be stabbed by him. If no one came, he would be like a mentally ill patient talking to the air.

On the afternoon of the last day of the college entrance examination, Tao Huainan passed the exam in silence. After pretending to be silent for so many days and feigning psychological problems for so many days, he leaned on the back of the chair and pretended to be too tired to fall asleep.

After returning, he locked himself in the room.

For two whole days, Tao Huainan didn’t hear a single sound, and he repeated the process of stabbing others and looking like a lunatic every day.

Those two days seemed like ten years.

There is no concept of time, no day and night, just endless darkness and endless loneliness.

[End of This Chapter]