Wildfire - Chapter 70

Chapter 70

Wet seeped in through the shirt, taking Tao Xiaodong’s body temperature.

He said Brother Yan, save me, and said I don’t want to be blind.

Tang Suoyan closed his eyes, the hot and humid temperature on his shoulders burned all the way down his bones to his heart, this burning sensation could burn a hole in his heart.

Tao Xiaodong has always been a very rigid person, like a piece of steel cast straight, not knowing whether it is painful or tired, and covering his head when he encounters difficulties. Ever since Tang Suoyan knew him, he has rarely even had red eyes.

After so many days, he still crushed himself after all. Now he is buried on Tang Suoyan’s shoulders, he does not hide his embarrassment, draws his breath hard, collapses and whimperes in his throat, and spreads his fragility and nakedness to Tang Suoyan to see.

“I don’t want to talk about breaking up either. I want to live with you until I die. Sometimes I close my eyes before going to bed and think of you next to me… I have to open my eyes to see you again.” Tao Xiaodong collapsed on Tang Suoyan’s shoulder. The voice lines were distorted below, “I’m too…”

There are some words that can’t be said unless they are too emotional. After a long time, Tao Xiaodong murmured in a low voice, “…I really like you so much.”

Tang Suoyan wrapped his arms around his waist, his Adam’s apple kept shaking, and he couldn’t speak.

“I’m uncomfortable… My heart is broken into several pieces, and what I do is wrong.” There was only a little breath left in the second half of the sentence, and he rubbed his forehead on Tang Suoyan’s shoulder impatiently. , “Why do you treat me like this? I have done so many good things, and I have saved so many pairs of eyes… Can’t you replace my eyes?”

I don’t know who he was questioning, every word he said was heartbreaking like a knife.

“What should I do if I’m blind, Xiaonan? I’ve been worried for so many years…” Tao Xiaodong put his face on Tang Suoyan’s shoulder, his eyes were a little lost, “I’ll throw it all to you? You’re not enough to worry, brother. Two blind men, you won’t have a sunny day in the future, and every breath will weigh you down.”

“Why should I throw it at you?” Tao Xiaodong stuck there and whispered, “I won’t give up to anyone, why?”

Tao Xiaodong often competes with himself, trying to twist his heart.

Tang Suoyan kept his back to him, never turned his head, and didn’t let Tao Xiaodong see his face.

Tao Xiaodong collapsed and took a puff. He was also tired. He kept leaning on Tang Suoyan’s shoulder and stopped talking.

Both of them were silent. After ten minutes, Tang Suoyan turned around and raised his arms to hug Tao Xiaodong.

Tao Xiaodong didn’t hide this time and let him hug him.

Tang Suoyan hugged him with one hand, wiped his face with the other, and said with a slight smile, “Hey, this is a grievance.”

Tao Xiaodong’s suppressed emotions were all released, and now his whole body is dizzy.

Tang Suoyan held his hand and didn’t move, the other one leaned over and took out two pieces of paper and wiped his face. Tao Xiaodong took it himself and blew his nose. After blowing my nose, I ran out of paper, so I folded the used one again and used it to wipe my eyes.

Tang Suoyan hurriedly stopped with a “hey”, took the one in his hand and threw it, and then went back to draw two more for him.

After throwing it away again, Tang Suoyan kissed him on the eye, pressed the back of his head and clasped it on himself, rubbed the back of his head, and said with a low smile, “Look at our big bald head.”

Tao Xiaodong rested his chin on his shoulder and whispered “um”: “I’m afraid it will be inconvenient to wash in the future.”

“I said I’ll wash it for you.” Tang Suoyan gently grabbed his head with his fingertips.

“It’s taking your time.” Tao Xiaodong was so comfortable that he wanted to squint, but suddenly felt very tired leaning there, “It saves trouble.”

The pajamas on his body were silky and slippery, and Tang Suoyan patted his back. Tao Xiaodong closed his eyes halfway, and called out “Brother Yan” again.

Tang Suoyan responded, and Tao Xiaodong said, “Don’t be angry with me, I really have no choice.”

Tang Suoyan patted him and said, “I’m not angry with you.”

“You are cold to me.” Tao Xiaodong closed his eyes and whispered, “I’m sick to death.”

Tang Suoyan smiled again: “You have to separate from me, I can’t have a temper?”

“Yes.” Tao Xiaodong said again, “Don’t be sad.”

Tao Xiaodong was really sleepy, and he had no strength all over his body, as if he had drained away with his emotions just now. Tang Suoyan still wanted to talk to him, but Tao Xiaodong was almost asleep.

He hadn’t slept well for a long time. He often kept his eyes open all night. Even if he closed his eyes and slept for a while, he was scattered and couldn’t sleep soundly. Now nesting on Tang Suoyan’s body, feeling his breath and taste, he was so sleepy that he couldn’t open his eyes.

Later, Tang Suoyan led him back to bed and fell asleep with his arms around him.

Tao Xiaodong fell asleep almost as soon as he touched the pillow, and Tang Suoyan stayed with him for a while before slowly getting up.

The shirt and trousers he was still wearing had not been changed when he went out for a meeting in the afternoon. The shirt has been rubbed and worn out by Tao Xiaodong, and the trousers have a lot of pleats. Tang Suoyan took off and changed into a set of pajamas. After that, he did nothing. He washed his face and went back to the bedroom. He looked at Tao Xiaodong and hugged him gently.

This sleep was heavy and solid, with no dreams and not so many unsteady awakenings. I slept for a long time unconsciously, and the tensed breath was relieved, and all the tiredness I had accumulated before came up.

I woke up once in the night, the small light at the door was on, Tao Xiaodong touched the side, Tang Suoyan took his hand, and his voice was a little hoarse: “Awake? Are you hungry?”

Tao Xiaodong said that he was not hungry, and Tang Suoyan told him to continue sleeping.

Tao Xiaodong turned over, pressed his face against Tang Suoyan, closed his eyes and fell asleep again. Tang Suoyan’s pajamas were held in his hands, and his hands gradually loosened as he fell asleep.

In the past, when he hugged and slept like this, Tang Suoyan’s hair always tickled a little, either scratching his neck or resting his chin, Tang Suoyan had to gently push it away. Now it doesn’t itch anymore, and the collarbone of the chin, neck and collarbone is empty.

It was noon on Sunday when Tao Xiaodong woke up completely.

He glanced at the time and was taken aback. He slept for almost twenty hours.

When I got out of bed, my legs were a little weak, my whole body was not very strong, and I was tired. Tang Suoyan heard the sound of him walking in the study, and came to see him. Tao Xiaodong laughed when he saw him. Thinking about his crying yesterday, he couldn’t get rid of it.

Tang Suoyan also smiled: “This is sleeping.”

Tao Xiaodong went to the bathroom and slept so long that he was panicking. Tang Suoyan didn’t leave either, and squeezed toothpaste for him at the sink outside. Tao Xiaodong cleared his throat: “I can’t pee when you are here.”

Tang Suoyan raised his eyebrows: “I didn’t look at you again.”

After speaking, I didn’t know what I remembered, so I lowered my eyes and smiled, and said in a low voice, “Besides, it’s not that I didn’t watch…”

Tao Xiaodong quickly interrupted him: “Shh, shh!”

Before he finished speaking, Tao Xiaodong had already guessed what he was about to say. It was too violent to say it, and it was too much to do that time. It was too embarrassing to mention or even think about.

Tang Suoyan laughed for a while, then turned around and went out: “Piss.”

Because of the half sentence that Tang Suoyan didn’t finish, Tao Xiaodong lost his mind and was full of the last thing. Tang Suoyan had cooked the porridge early, he packed it out, and gave him a bowl.

Tao Xiaodong was still uncomfortable when he lowered his head to drink porridge.

“Okay, don’t think about it anymore,” Tang Suoyan put the dish into his bowl and smiled, “I won’t say it anymore.”

Tao Xiaodong almost choked on a mouthful of porridge and coughed loudly.

Tang Suoyan poured him a glass of water, looked at him, and just smiled.

Tao Huainan called in the morning, Tang Suoyan answered, saying that his brother was still sleeping. Tao Xiaodong hadn’t gone back for a while, and the two of them packed up and went home in the afternoon.

On the way, Tao Xiaodong said, “Brother Yan, I didn’t want to tell Xiaonan.”

Tang Suoyan: “Needless to say.”

“He… can’t stand this.” Tao Xiaodong pursed his lips and looked out the car window, “He’s too scared.”

“Don’t tell him,” Tang Suoyan said as a matter of course, “don’t let him know.”

Tao Xiaodong looked at him, said nothing, and nodded silently.

Tao Huainan was too sensitive, and within three minutes of Tao Xiaodong entering the door, he felt something was wrong.

When the door opened, the somewhat surprised “brother” sounded, and the two seconds of silence after that. After that, although everything was business as usual, Tao Huainan knew something was wrong.

He went to touch his brother, starting from the arm up, Tao Xiaodong sighed, and put his hand directly on his head, Tao Huainan opened his mouth in surprise. Tao Xiaodong said with a smile: “My hair is shaved.”

Tao Huainan touched his face and frowned, “Why are you so thin? What’s wrong with you?”

“It’s okay, I don’t like to eat when I have a cold. Stay away from me and pass it on to you.” Tao Xiaodong said.

Tao Huainan’s brows didn’t mean to loosen up. Tang Suoyan took him by the hand and led him to sit on the sofa, and said, “We had a conflict a while ago, and your brother got a little angry.”

Tao Huainan first said it was fine, and then asked in a low voice, “Why are you?”

Tang Suoyan said, “Your brother is going to break up with me. Has your hair been shaved? You want to cut it off with me completely.”

Tao Huainan opened his mouth again in surprise, his eyes subconsciously widened: “…It’s impossible.”

He turned his head in the direction of his brother: “What are you doing?”

“My mind is pumped.” Tao Xiaodong looked at Tang Suoyan and said helplessly, “You are too good to sue.”

“Learn from you.” Tang Suoyan then told Tao Huainan, “He hurt me too much.”

Tao Huainan didn’t know what to say, so he held Tang Suoyan’s hand: “Brother Tang, don’t pay attention to him, he cares about you…he’s mentally ill.”

When Tang Suoyan and Chi Cheng were cooking in the kitchen that day, Tao Huainan sat worriedly on the small bench and whispered to persuade him.

Tang Suoyan comforted him: “I didn’t take it seriously, don’t worry about Xiaonan.”

“Tao Xiaodong is like a fool sometimes, and he is not always shrewd.” Tao Huainan whispered next to his leg.

Tang Suoyan laughed, Tao Xiaodong shouted in the living room, “Tao Huainan.”

Tao Huainan said, “He heard me so quietly?”

Tang Suoyan smiled and touched his head.

Reluctantly, Tao Huainan got the matter over, but Chi Cheng kept looking at Tao Xiaodong, his eyes fell on him from time to time and stared at him for a while, Tao Xiaodong knew he didn’t hide it from him.

After all, Tao Xiaodong looked too haggard now, and he knew at a glance that something must have happened to him.

Tao Xiaodong shook his head at him, Chi Cheng frowned.

“One of the two brothers is better than the other.” Tao Xiaodong said, leaning against the back of his chair on the way back in the evening.

They are all too smart and sometimes very tiring, such as when there is something to hide. Can’t hide this, can’t hide that.

“As you like.” Tang Suoyan said.

The mess he couldn’t hold back from crying yesterday afternoon made Tao Xiaodong relax a lot. I can clearly feel that he is no longer as tense as before, but since waking up today, he is extraordinarily sticky.

It’s not that they have to be together all the time, but when they are in the same space, Tao Xiaodong’s eyes often fall on Tang Suoyan, as if he can’t see enough, he always looks at him.

Before going to bed, Tao Xiaodong took the medicine on his own initiative. After eating, he went back to the bedroom. Tang Suoyan sat by the bed and saw him come in and stretched his arms towards him. Tao Xiaodong smiled and rushed towards him.

I still held back my strength. I didn’t really bump into it. In fact, I just hugged him in the past.

The two were on top of each other, Tao Xiaodong leaned on Tang Suoyan and kept looking at him, his eyes were full of reluctance.

Tang Suoyan laughed and let him watch: “If you want to kiss, hurry up.”

Tao Xiaodong then lowered his head and kissed, and after kissing, he said, “I didn’t want to kiss, I just wanted to see.”

“Then it’s still a kiss.” Tang Suoyan said.

Tao Xiaodong then lowered his head and kissed again.

Tang Suoyan leaned there, and when he lay down like this, the bridge of his brows and nose became more obvious, and his outline was very tough. He didn’t move, let Tao Xiaodong see enough, and asked him calmly, “Does it look good?”

“Of course.” Tao Xiaodong’s voice was a little dull, he cleared his throat, “very handsome.”

“Then can you not look at me like there is no tomorrow but today?” Tang Suoyan rubbed his chin and smiled lightly, “Your eyes made my heart sink to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.”

Tao Xiaodong answered calmly, “I have no tomorrow.”

Tang Suoyan didn’t speak, Tao Xiaodong took another sentence in a deep voice: “I’m afraid one day I won’t remember it.”

If you can’t see your lover’s face, how long can you remember the deepest impression. This Tao Xiaodong doesn’t know, he can only try it himself.

Tang Suoyan let him watch for a long time, and finally put his arms around him, laughed softly, and said, “Xiaodong.”

Tao Xiaodong was bored on him and answered “um”.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you these past few days,” Tang Suoyan touched his bald head, and it was interesting when he was used to it, “Do you still know who I am?”

“I’m fine again.” Tao Xiaodong replied, inhaling the smell on his body.

“Know?” Tang Suoyan asked.

Tao Xiaodong said he knew.

Tang Suoyan said, “I told you not to think about it all the time, but don’t think about it. If you know who I am, you have to believe me.”

“You can do whatever I ask you to do, just listen to me and take care of it.” Tang Suoyan raised his eyebrows when he said this, “Do you want me to take care of it?”

“Use,” Tao Xiaodong said now, now sensible, “if you don’t care about me, I’ll lose it.”

The shaft has passed, the tip of the horn has also been drilled, the hand is not willing to let go, and the person is not willing to let go. Now it’s basically a broken pot, and it’s like this anyway, this person is destined to be dragged by him, so don’t struggle, just be thorough.

Tao Xiaodong said softly, “Don’t leave me alone.”

People are always very good after making mistakes, even if they make mistakes, they are helpless.

Tang Suoyan kissed his ear, and then slowly said in his ear, “Yesterday you said why you saved so many pairs of eyes, you can’t replace yours.”

He smiled: “how come, you saved so many pairs of eyes, so you have me.”

Tao Xiaodong raised his head from him, the two looked at each other, Tang Suoyan’s eyes were as reassuring as ever.

“Push me away or drag me down and make it difficult for you. You thought wrong from the very beginning.” Tang Suoyan stared at him, the smile on his face gradually disappeared, looked at Tao Xiaodong, and said lightly, “It should be Think—you should be mine.”